I have come to the conclusion that I have defective pets.  I was watching a documentary (yes me!!) on Earthquakes and found myself smirking at the fact that animals “sense” these things before they happen.  Sitting back in my cat clawed frayed lazy boy I thought back to earlier this century ~wavy screen and way back music please~

It was 4:59 AM on a summer Tuesday morning, I remember the time because my alarm goes off at 5:00AM so I can work to make money for cat food and treats.  There was a terrific bang outside, like a truck had gone over a speed bump at 50 mph.  The house shook and the head-board banged against the wall.  I know it was the headboard because ….. well anyway to get on with the story.

I jumped out of bed and looked out the window, up and down the street, nothing.  My wife, who is from San Francisco calmly called out “It was just an earthquake, come back to bed”

“An earthquake???” panicked now, running about the room, being an Easterner all my life I have never had this experience before.

“Lay down, it’s over” she actually went back to sleep…YES SLEEP

“Should I turn off the gas, how about the water and the power?” my voice up a couple of octaves now.

“Just come back to bed, it’s over” her voice sounding a bit agitated now.

“But, what if, when, how should I” the questions were coming so fast I couldn’t put them into sentences.

“BED” a forceful growl from under the covers.

Seeing this line of questioning was futile I went around the house checking, the boy was asleep, good.  There were no apparent water leaks in the house, check.  The doors were still closed which I thought was a good indication that the quake hadn’t destroyed the neighborhood.  The car was ok in the garage, no utility pipes sticking up out of the back yard.  Well I suppose it was just something minor after all.  Walking back into the house and past the two cats, sound asleep, yes, the cats were asleep.  I knew then, like I know now, that the animals are hyper-sensitive to the earths crusts movements but mine just slept through it.  What does this mean, did they not want to warn us?  Was it part of the World Dominance Plan of cats to not wake us and have us killed in the quake? 

Then, I figured it out, my cats have to be defective.  I contacted the rescue where we picked them up, but they refused to take them back.  I considered an ad on Ebay but I don’t think you are allowed to sell live, or sleeping, animals.  So even though this was a few years ago, and the cats are a bit older now, and more rested, if anyone out there wants a great deal on an orange tabby and a calico, just shoot me an email, I will even deliver them.