I realize it is the Holiday Season and a lot of you are leaving your Twitters, Face Book or Blogs alone for a few days.  The time honored tradition of being with loved ones is strong enough to pull most of us away from our Cyber world.  However, some of us just can’t resist being here and posting stuff, anything, because we are born to write, or born to bitch about things in some cases, but regardless we need to post.

I have kept this little story to myself for a long time, waiting for the right moment to share it with the world, and hopefully I can do that without offending too many of you since you will be off with the family and not have time to read this anyway.

My wife is a true Saint.  She puts up with me regardless of the situation and I am truly blessed that she has allowed me to share her life.  Saying I would do anything for her is an understatement and I tell her that daily.  I don’t know if she was trying to test that theory or not, but the time came for me to “put up or shut up”.

I was about to head home from work and she called me, asking me to stop by the grocery store and get her some “supplies”.  I was set back for a moment, but remembering my words I agreed and took out a piece of paper and pencil. 

“With wings, contoured, ultra thin, and unscented” I repeated into the phone in a hushed voice so my office mates wouldn’t hear.

“Yes dear that’s right” and she even gave me the generic store brand name by which they went.

I timidly strode into the grocery store with my yellow sticky note in hand.  How difficult could this be I rationalized to myself.  Heading straight for the feminine needs aisle, (I love how they call it that) I walked up and down for a few minutes.  Other women looked at me and slinked away, one picked up a package of something, not supplies, and walked away.  I couldn’t help thinking that she probably wasn’t there to buy that, but whatever.  I was moving packages around, looking high and low but couldn’t find them.  I found super absorbent but they were not with wings, oh the choices, there must be 2,000 different styles and brands. 

Finally, at my wits end I started asking women who walked by, some would just scurry away with their heads down; others would point and quickly move on.  I was beside myself now, how can something this simple be so difficult, finally one brave woman stopped long enough to read my note and picked up a package that had like 3 out of 4 things right.

“This is as close as you will get” before running off like the others.

Well now I had completed cleared the feminine needs aisle, the store manager was checking me out, probably about to call security as this big lug was scaring away the women.  Finally, in sheer desperation I grabbed the package my new friend told me to and went to the checkout.

In my car, I was exhausted, what an ordeal.  Gathering myself up I drove home and proceeded to tell my wife that I didn’t appreciate the Mission Impossible she had sent me and that it was an equivalent to a Military suicide mission just to purchase her “supplies”. 

My wife listened and stoically suppressed laugher all the time waiting for me to finish my rant.

“Are you done?” which is her favorite way of saying shut up.

“Yes” humbled now.

“You went to the wrong grocery store.  That one doesn’t carry the kind I need”

The package that the helpful woman helped me pick out is still in our bathroom.  I know my wife has left it there as a daily reminder to me of the superiority of the female of the species.

 Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Everyone.

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