I am not a Super Hero but I do have a nemesis.  Not like in my youth when there was always one kid that wanted to beat you up, no not that kind of nemesis, mine today is completely different, but let me explain.

Five years ago I bought a home in an old part of town; it is nestled amongst stately Georgia Pines.  For those of you unfamiliar with Georgia Pines they are very tall trees that have some pine needles, lots of pine cones and are kind of scrawny at the bottom and poofy at the top.  I have four of them in my front yard, which are all over 100 years old.  Around all the pines is a bed of Azaleas.  Yes I am really in the South aren’t I?  Oh to top it off, growing between two of the four pines is a Dogwood Tree.  You can’t get much more Gone With the Wind than my front yard.

Now on to my nemesis, last year I was trimming the azaleas one hot Saturday morning.  I was leaning down to do this trimming and I was under the dogwood tree.  I heard a rustling of leaves above me and thought nothing of it, until suddenly a drop of something whizzed by my head and hit the ground.  Looking up, I saw my new nemesis, a gray squirrel, taking aim at me with his uhmmm feces.  The leaves of the dogwood sheltered me from a direct hit and I backed away quickly and looked for a rock to toss.

Well this was one incident I thought, how childish of me to worry about a small squirrel that couldn’t weigh more than a pound or two.  I told my wife about it, she laughed, I told my son about it, and he laughed and cried.  So life went on for a few days.  Driving home from work, I turned into my driveway and there, sitting on the concrete facing me, was my nemesis.  Did he run away, no, he looked defiantly at me as if to tell me to go around.  I inched closer, he still didn’t move, I was almost upon him when he figured he better move and leisurely went off towards the trees.  So now it was set, the little bastard was trying to show me he was boss.  A few days later I drove in the driveway, there he sat, I revved the engine and raced up the driveway, he ran for the nearest pine. 

This went on for several days until I tired of the game.  I drove in as usual and there he sat, I revved up the engine and went up the driveway, he dodged right and headed for the tree, I dodged with him racing across the lawn, he missed the tree and went past it, I was in hot pursuit, I was going to run this vermin down no matter what.  I swear he smiled at me as he looked over his shoulder and took a hard left and found the third pine, I swung around, sod and dirt flying off the rear tires but I didn’t get to him in time, he was up the tree, safe.

I drove off my yard and back to my parking spot.  Walking in the house my wife met me with jaw agape.  “What the hell are you doing” or something to that effect, I didn’t hear her as my blood was pounding in my ears.  At least now he doesn’t sit on the driveway, more half way between the driveway and the tree.  I know he is getting older, next spring he will be slower, and he will make a mistake, and I will have my nemesis, and it will be good.