Just came in from playing catch football with the boy. He is taking a break from reading, yes, I know. I was tossing the ball and he wanted me to throw it short, or wide, so he could dive for it. Sure we were playing on the grass of the front yard, but still it occurred to me, when did I start worrying about hurting myself when doing things? He is just a free spirit running and diving on the grass, or running wide open at the basketball net and not worrying if he bangs into the upright, me on the other hand very cautious, very deliberate in my movements.
I felt this needed further thought and I reflected back on my life. When I was a young boy in Canada I played ice hockey, not much padding, no gloves, and definitely no helmet. Did I worry about getting hurt, no. Then it was tobogganing in the winter down very steep snowy hills with brick buildings at the bottom, again no fear. Now we move into my early work years, definitely not worried about hurting myself. At 30 I decided to take up auto racing, roaring around the local tracks on Saturday night, fearless maybe a little, but I was becoming more cautious. Then it was more travelling, working where we had to take a helicopter to work everyday, hooking up cargo nets under a hovering helicopter, still no real fear.
Then it dawned on me, the fear started when the child was born, or more likely when the wife was pregnant with the child. Things changed, I was concerned about a future, about being around for him, I slowed down driving, I wore a seat belt (gasp) and even slowed when the light turned yellow. My goodness, it was true, I hadn’t done a dangerous, or should I say carefree, thing since the boy was born. Now I am watching him, yes it is early but he is starting along the path. Is it a path all boys take to manhood? Is it also something that happens in girls, though I doubt it. Is it a rite of passage, maybe, but now I know why my parents would sit and shake their heads when I appeared at the dinner table skinned knees, bruised elbows or some other self-inflicted damage to my still young body.
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I know ~ It happens the first day you feel you have something to lose.
I agree, the more we have to lose the more cautious we become.
Personally I think it’s a conspiracy by the walking stick manufacturers. 😉
Hmmm a good thought, they want us to get old and feeble, very good point Maureen.
Well it’s either them or those little wheeled-contraption manufacturers. I see those people rolling around on their mobile lazy-boys, rolling over toes like there’s no tomorrow. It’ll be like Terminator with false teeth, I’m telling ya.
That’s so true. It’s nice to watch them be carefree and have fun. I’m sad to say it’s been a long time since I’ve just let go and had that kind of fun and yes, it started when I fell pregnant, but I think it’s been worth it. I think it also has to do with the fact that your body is not capable of what it once was – at least mine isn’t lol!
Another great point Dionne, are we capable of the things we once did, climbing the tree, jumping across a creek, I think I would have a hard time doing any of those things I did as a youth. Thanks for the visit and the comment.
LOL “Terminator with false teeth” way too funny Zen
Hi Peter. The process you describe began for me in my early forties when, after a brief respite from running, I discovered I could no longer breeze up Colorado’s mountain trails and maintain anything resembling consciousness. These days when I ‘jog,’ I’m very aware of all the potential obstacles and risks (tree branches in the path, potholes in the pavement, etc.). I think maybe the creeping cautiousness is also exacerbated by the reality of peers beginning to fall by the wayside. Oy! PS: My adult daughter (late 20s) who recently suffered a bike accident (not serious) describes similar feelings of a sudden. I expect circumstances can trigger hyper-prudence, regardless of age or sex, don’t you think?
Jack: I think so, I definitely agree with the reality of peers beginning to fall, I have had several close friends diagnosed with so far cureable cancer. The sudden change in lifestyle they undergo is interesting to watch. I have decided to eliminate many of the known cancer causing habits from my life, hopefully in time, but there are so many other things that can get us. Driving in this city (Atlanta) is dangerous enough but all you can do there is tighten up the seat belt and grip the wheel with both hands. Early 40’s was when it hit me, which coincided with the birth of my son. I always thought it was his birth, but perhaps it is something else, very good points, and as always thanks for the visit.