Ok, you may have seen my tweets about cats, it is not that I don’t like them, it is that they don’t like me.  So after spending way too much time on twitter, I have formulated this theory about the furry felines, bear with me I think you will see the logic eventually, or after enough coffee, one or the other.

I have two cats, well let me correct that, there are two cats that allow me to live in their house, so I guess technically the two cats have one human.  I don’t count the other humans that live in the house because, well, the cats are nice to them.  I then started reading the tweets and realized something very odd.  Do you realize that most writers, whether they are published, soon to be published, wish to be published, or have no chance in hell of being published, have cats that let them live with them.  Yes, see, I didn’t connect the two at first either, but it is becoming crystal clear to me now.  All of the writings that are being produced, are being produced at the whim of the cat.  Oh I know, you probably think I am a black helicopter conspiracies type guy, no, I’m actually quite rational and sane, most days. 

Think about it, how many billions of dollars are spent on cat care each year?  A lot, I know, and why? Obviously it is because people write “Cat Books”.  Not just books about cats, although there are a bunch of those, but books with cats in them, somewhere, even subtle little references, subliminal if you will “Whats New PussyCat” was there a cat in that, no, but the title wants you to think of cats. “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”  Oh I could go on, but you have probably stopped reading this by now.  Oh wait, I have to go change the litter box, the cats demand it.

Advertisements