Archive for September, 2011

U Abuse

Ok, time for my next confession.  I am a Canadian living in the United Sates, no, please, don’t look at me that way, you have to understand that I had the best reason of all to leave the Great White North and travel to the warmer climes of Dixie.  Oh no, not the weather, I can see you just nodding and smirking.  Nope, not that at all.  Avoid Socialism? It appears I have not done a good job of that either.  Oh, the cost of living? No, nowadays it is almost the same, and I did give up Canadian Bacon and Labatts Beer and let us not forget the almighty Tim Horton’s.  So why on earth did you leave Peter? Oh if I only had a nickel for every time I have heard that.

Simple, I was tired of all the extra typing I had to do just to form a sentence.  I mean just look at this “The colour of the peach was an indication of the flavour” Yes, that is in Canadian, well their version of English I guess.  I finally snapped one day when I had to write out a recipe for someone.  So many extra u‘s I was afraid I would be arrested for u abuse.  So I bolted, I moved across the border into the sanity of a u abuse free United Sates.  Oh wait they have u‘s too, but not to the extent that their neighbou…oops neighbor to the north does, not at all.

So I did it, I moved and I now write in abbreviated Canadian or as some call it down here English, but we know it really isn’t the Queen’s English yet I don’t correct them.  Now I consider myself bilingual, I speak and write English and American.


Opening Chapter(s)

Wow, I am faced with a conundrum.  Is that the word?  I thought I had the opening chapter to my book (#2) all set, then I was reading it the other night and thought that the opening chapter was lacking something.  I stood away from the screen for a moment, looked at it from a few different angles but that didn’t change anything.  So I tried to read it from the perspective of a reader and not the author (that is a radical thought isn’t it?)  What did I see, well I saw that the opening I had didn’t grab them enough, didn’t draw them into that page turning frenzy that every Author is shooting for, instead, it was good, but not riveting. 

So why am I wasting your time with this?  Well I wanted a few opinions on whether I have over-reacted and should have left my “good” opening Chapter as is or instead should I have come up with the “riveting page turner” first Chapter?  What is it that makes you want to keep reading a story, to crave more of the Author’s words?  I know what does it for me, but my opinion doesn’t count, I am just the Author.

Here is a Novel Idea

I am thinking of doing book reviews, but there is going to be a catch of course.  I was thinking that if I review your book, you then get to review mine and make the appropriate comments on either my blog here, or on Kindle for me.  I in turn would be happy to post my review of your book at the location of your choosing.  That way you can’t say “why his blog, he has so few followers”

Yes, not very original I know, but I have seen a lot of blogs that offer reviews of books and expect nothing in return.  What ever happened to “tit for tat” gosh why should someone get a review and not have to do anything but supply the book?  I always thought writers had to suffer in their art, oh wait, maybe that was 18th century classical music composers, I get them confused sometimes.

So what do you think, anyone up for a little even trade in the Book Review area.

That was me, moaning to my wife as she announced that our son had a project due in school.  I thought about the days when I had projects and how my parents were mysteriously absent when these projects were due.  Oh but back then a book report was a book report, remember?  Now, shudder, a book report has to be a work of art, a cereal box cut open and made to look like a tiny stage from some 1800’s Saloon.  Then you have to do cut outs, and create a scene in this cereal box world that looks like something from the book that is being reported on. 

Really? Yes, that is a book report nowadays.  I was just wondering if we could apply that to book reviews that we do here in our Blogs?  So, I have to end this little tirade because it is time to get artistic.  I only hope that my book report/artistic creation gets a higher mark than my wife got for her Geography project.  She only got a B, surely I can beat that.  Oh, the son? He is playing Wii right now, I think he might come and help me near the end.

First Attempt

Well I wanted to do something for my son,  you know “what did you do when you were young Dad” and something to leave for generations yet to come.  Well I couldn’t really tell them about my personal life because, well, that is personal isn’t it? Why else would you call it personal life after all.  So, the dilemma was there, what to do.  At work one day my boss lovingly referred to me as “the white guy that can write” so instead of taking offense, I took action.  I began to write, for my son and all future descendants, my work autobiography.  I found it very therapeutic to write this, and it kind of flowed off my fingertips and onto the screen.  I finished it and smugly read and re-read it, self editing as I went along.  I proudly showed it to my wife and several friends (some of whom are mentioned in the story) and received the normal platitudes one would expect from family and friends.

Feeling a bit full of myself I decided to put the story up on Kindle, what the heck if my family liked it, surely the general public would love it, right?  Well, believe it or not it has sold some copies, perhaps to unsuspecting people looking for some cheap porn as the title lends itself to that, or maybe some who are the type who gather at auto accidents or train wrecks, tittering to themselves about how unfortunate the victims were.

I will let you decide, if you want to purchase the book it is at  If you are wanting to get your own book reviewed, I would be happy to do that in exchange for a review of mine.  Free for free of course.

So there we have it, I have made my first blog confession, and I feel a little better for it.  Now back to book #2.